It's the Breathing that's taking all this WORK

Let's start with a brief background of me & my job. I've worked @ the same place for eight years now-a fact which totally astonishes me. This particular job has always brought out the worst in me. All the mean & nasty thoughts seem to come alive there. That is, before I knew Jesus. For a while, when I first was saved, I got worse. This amazing change had took place in my life, but no one seemed to notice. I was angry. Can't they see? I'm not the same girl anymore!! Fortunately enough, I was also pregnant and was forced to take a short leave of absence!! I came back refreshed, renewed, and ready to begin again. The place still brings out the worst in me. But my worst is much better now than my best ever was. And I continue to push forward in a constant pursuit of a better me. A few months ago things started changing. Different people were promoted. There have been changes to the way a lot of us do our jobs. It started feeling like old times again. I felt myself slowly sliding down. Getting worse. And worse. I felt pain, anger, and dissension build up inside me again. I began to dread going to work. What's worse is the feelings started carrying over into the rest of my life. I kept trying to have a positive attitude. It would only last for a short while, though. Something would inevitably happen to push me over the edge again. So here's where I am and have been for the last couple of months. Struggling, Fighting, Drowning.

Today God gave me an amazing opportunity. I was talking to a lady from another department. She seemed a little down. She was frustrated with the fact that some people can get/get away with anything they want. Why is it that you can work really hard, be very dedicated, and get nowhere. 'What's the point in working hard if it doesn't do you any good?' she asked me. What a question-one that I've asked myself often. God gave me the words to speak. "For me," I said, "It doesn't matter if my superiors notice. It doesn't matter if anyone notices. I have to do my best at everything. There is no other option. I would not be able to do any less even if I wanted to. Besides, just because no one here cares, doesn't mean no one is watching. God cares. He sees all that you do. Do your best anyway & don't worry about whether it is noticed here or not." She thanked me. She said that was just what she needed to hear. I felt so good.

On my way home, I was replaying the conversation in my mind. God was talking to me too! Sometimes I feel so stupid for not seeing the obvious!! I have to give my all no matter what. God is watching me(not from a distance, either!). It would be no good for me to say, 'I believe in God-Jesus-the Christian way of life,' and then not act like it. It would be counter productive to the Kingdom. It doesn't matter if I agree with my superiors. They are in authority over me & I must obey. Without complaining!! I let the smallest things get me off track and it's putting my life in danger.

We've been going through the 'Driven by Eternity' video series on Thursday nights @ Church. I must admit-I've been feeling a little insecure about my eternal destination. Now I know how to live for eternity. Moment by moment-in constant pursuit of Christ. Not looking back and not worrying about what anyone but God will think of me.

Thanks Lord, I needed this!