My husband and I went to see Rambo the other night. We don't usually go for 'rated R' movies, but I knew my husband would love this one. Since he is usually very willing to go to movies that I want to see, I figured it was only fair for me to return the favor. I thought I would be able to handle it. As we are sitting in the theater, waiting for the movie to begin, I realize that I probably shouldn't have suggested this movie. My husband tells me that we can leave. Even though I felt that I shouldn't have come, I didn't feel like I should leave (which is a very weird feeling). I told my husband that I would be fine & wanted to stay.
I thought "How bad can it be? It's about missionaries." Wow-I must have completely forgotten all that I have read, seen, and heard about missions! About 10 minutes into the movie, I realized that I was not going to be able to watch this move. But, I still didn't want to leave! Then it hit me; "I'll just close my eyes-there's not really any dialog, so I won't know what's going on."
As I sat there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about the missions field. Since I met Jesus, I have felt as though I should go into the missions field. A couple of years ago, Joe Rystrom came to our church & spoke about YWAM. He has devoted his entire life to bringing the Gospel to China. At the end of the service Joe asked us to listen for God to tell us what He wanted us to do concerning missions. He told us that we could give money, pray, or be a missionary. He gave us all a few minutes of silence, and then asked people to raise their hands for the thing God had told them to do. My mind was a complete mess at the time, so hearing from God was not something I could do. I didn't raise my hand for anything. Then, Joe said something about some of us needing to get some things straight!! I knew the was talking to me.
I have been bothered by that day ever since. I've also kept thinking that I was spoiled & lazy for not joining the missions field.
OK-back to Rambo. I'm thinking about how I should be a missionary, when God speaks: "This is not for you. You cannot handle this." Oh, my! That's one of the things I worry about when thinking of going to a foreign land; seeing things that are far worse than anything we have here in the good ol' USA. Deep down I knew I couldn't handle it. I knew that if I did missions, it would not be me at all. God would have to do ALL the work! God told me that He had made other people for missions, not me. Then He reminded me of what I was made for. "You take care of what I have already given you to do. You PRAY for these missionaries." WOW!! I don't think I've ever known peace like I felt at that moment. So, I did as I was instructed & prayed (under my breath-in the language of prayer).
I no longer worried about being a missionary. I no longer worried about Rambo. In fact, I was able to watch the last 20-30 minutes of it without closing my eyes!
I thank God for people who are willing to leave their homes & families to advance the Kingdom.
I thank God for finally knowing the answer to a two to three year old question.
I thank God for meeting me in the most unusual places!!
SMC
