The Art of Destruction

I was reminded the other day of how much I love to tear stuff up! We were cleaning out our now former church building, and we came across a very old computer. What to do with this outdated equipment that sits in a closet? We called up our resident computer guy whose only concern was some church records on the hard drive. Other than that, do with it what you will.

So, we did.











We were even able to remove the hard drive without using any tools!!

If ever you have the opportunity to destroy something like this, I would highly recommend it.

SMC

The Joy of the Working

When Earth's Last Picture is Painted
by Rudyard Kipling

When Earth's last picture is painted and the tubes are twisted and dried,
When the oldest colours have faded, and the youngest critic has died,
We shall rest, and, faith, we shall need it -- lie down for an aeon or two,
Till the Master of all good workmen shall set us to work anew.
And those who were good shall be happy; they shall sit in a golden chair;
They shall splash at a ten-league canvas with brushes of comets' hair.
They shall find real saints to draw from -- Magdalene, Peter, and Paul;
They shall work for an age at a sitting and never be tired at all!

And only The Master shall praise us, and only The Master shall blame;
And no one shall work for money, and no one shall work for fame,
But each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
Shall draw the thing as he sees It for the God of things as they are!

This is my favorite poem.

There's something in it that I want to experience--the joy of the working!

I have worked for the same company, in the same department, doing basically the same job for going on NINE years now. It has been a wonderful place for learning and experience. I've traveled. I've met some very interesting people along the way. The coolest thing is-I've been PAID to learn how to do some really cool things in the world of digital photography & graphic design. I can honestly say that at one point, I would have done this job even if I wasn't getting paid. True, there were many times I wanted to quit. In the beginning, there was a lot of fighting. We wanted to revolutionize the company & many people thought that meant we wanted to get rid of them (in some cases we did!). Sometimes the fight was what got me out of bed in the morning. The thought of them 'winning' made me go at it even harder.

It seems, though, that these last couple of years I haven't been learning as much. There's no longer anything to fight for. We won!! Several of the people who were afraid of losing their jobs have retired! I've reached a point where the only reason I get up & go is for a paycheck. I love my co-workers. I am bored outta my mind with the job. I'm slipping back into some old (bad) habits.

I want out!

But where does one go from here? It is not economical to work for free. Can I ask my family to adjust to a much smaller income? Is it fair to them? On the other hand-is it fair that they get the worst of me? I've spent so much time in a place I don't want to be. I come home & am tired, hungry, & usually in a bad mood (for no apparent reason). Is it fair to my son that he only gets to see me when I put him to bed? Is it fair to my husband that he doesn't get to see me at all? I feel like I'm losing my grip on life.

I want more.
More than what I'm getting from this rat race.

I don't mind working. I enjoy it. I can't really imaging my life without it.

But...

Does work have to be everything?

What do I want for Christmas this year?

To work, for the joy of the working

To be able to say, "I would do this even if I wasn't getting paid"



SMC

Love Thy Neighbor

I consider my neighbor to be a very good friend of mine. I can honestly say that without her, I would not be where I am today.

But to be perfectly honest-I am not a very good friend to her. I always have some kind of excuse. You know, there’s just so much going on. There’s just no time. Well, I have finally realized that, as long as I’m breathing, there’s going to be a lot going on! I have to get my priorities straight. Right now-they’re all jacked up!

My neighbor is going through something right now. I don’t know exactly what. It may not be as bad as I have imagined, it may be worse. The point is, something is wrong and I have no idea what it is or how to help. You would think that this being one of my closest friends, I would have put forth some effort to help. But no. I have kept my distance. I (vainly) thought for a while that I was what was wrong. Maybe I had offended without realizing. So, I stayed away. I convinced myself that I could only make matters worse.

I’ve gotten over myself. I have realized that I may be making matters worse by not following one of the most important commands- Love Thy Neighbor.


The fact of the matter is-this IS the person that followed God’s command. She reached out to her neighbor who was in desperate need of help, but would not admit it. She was diligent in doing God’s work. The phrase 'Hound of Heaven' comes to my mind. She did not give up or give in. Even when all attempts to reach out were rejected. She pressed on. Always doing what she knew was the right thing. It took two years. I would have given up on me long before then. But, finally, a breakthrough. We agreed to go to a hayride with her and her husband (who had been chasing after my husband). Our lives would never be the same.

It is because of her diligence, perseverance, and LOVE that I met Jesus.

I shudder to think what might have happened if she had given up on me.

I can't let her down.

I owe her my life.

Now, I will be like the Hound of Heaven.

I will not give up either.

SMC

The Last Thursday Night

Tonight, I am sad. We held the very last Thursday night service at New Life Christian Center. My poor Mac is getting soaked in tears.

My church is going through transition right now. I believe that God is getting ready to unleash something amazing on us. Truthfully, this is exactly what I’ve been praying for.

Revival Cometh!!

Some would wonder then, why am I so sad tonight.

For me, church began four years ago on a Thursday night in October. We had gone to this church’s annual Hayride the previous Saturday (after much hounding from our neighbors!). It was unlike any church function I had ever been to. These people were fun to be around! We would have gone to church that Sunday, but I had to work. So it was the following Thursday when we first walked through the door at NLCC. We were greeted by Eve. She was upset because it was going to be such a ’low night’. I didn’t understand what that meant until later when a man named Jared came in. Everyone said, ” No wonder there’s nobody here, it’s Jared!” . I felt so sorry for that guy. Here he is just trying to come to church and everyone is giving him a hard time. Little did I know that he didn’t go to that church. He was a member of another congregation. God would send him to NLCC to ’fill in’ when there wasn’t going to be many people there. The New Life Christian Center sign at 80 Cude Lane lit up for the first time. My husband and I sat on the next to last row. Center section. Right side. Ronnie was sitting in front of us. Eve and Anna had talked to us the most. We mostly discussed the coming birth of Laynie. Then, the most amazing thing happened. Pastor Shane was preaching-against religion! I sat there shocked and in awe. Could this be true? He’s the Pastor, right? It was exactly what I needed to hear. It was proof that this church really had something different to offer. They had the TRUTH. Not the cold, stale, hypocrites I was used to. I couldn’t believe it.

We then began going to every service. But Thursday night was always special to me. When I was having a bad week (which was EVERY week at that time) I could look to Thursday for comfort. On Thursday, work was easier. Even if I got upset, it didn’t last long. People would ask me why I was so excited. I would answer, ”It’s Thursday!” Then I would explain that upon leaving work I would go to China Cottage to meet my husband for dinner. After that, we got to go to church. It was the highlight of my week. Sunday mornings were great-don’t get me wrong. But I can remember Pastor Shane saying there was something special for the person who actually made it to church on Thursday. For me that was definitely true. I wouldn’t have made it here otherwise.

Regular service on Thursday nights has long been gone. We had department meetings for a while. Recently, we have been doing cell groups. It’s not like service is just abruptly ending. We knew it was coming. Again, I am VERY excited about the changes we will be making. And I know that at some point in the future, we will have regular Thursday night services again. My sadness will be short lived. Years from now, I will look on these memories and smile.

Saturday is the annual NLCC Hayride! I suppose this will begin a new phase in my Christian walk.

I feel I am on the verge of rambling so, I will leave you with this thought-

I was glad when they said to me, "Let us go into the house of the Lord."
No matter what day it is!

SMC

Silver Girl

Have you ever had trouble figuring out what you want to do with your life? It seems to be an ongoing source of frustration for me. It's not that I dislike my job, or the company I work for. I just feel like I'm missing out on what I'm supposed to be doing.

We are doing a Cell Group @ Church on John Bevere's Driven By Eternity. One of the workbook questions from Hour 1 asks you about your dreams. What do your extraordinary God-adventures look like? I could not answer this question. I listened to my friends/pastors as they answered. I was amazed and ashamed at the same time. They had really thought about this-and not because it was a question in the workbook. The senior pastor went into great detail about his vision. Wow! It was amazing. And I must say, I will enjoy watching it unfold. But hearing it left me feeling more empty than just not being able to answer the question had. I suppose, deep in my heart I could have given a misty, dreamlike answer. Not anything solid, though. Lately, my mind has been so overactive I can't be still long enough to think.

To be perfectly honest, I'm usually a bit skeptical to share my wildest dreams with others. Often times they get shot down, confused, or just completely misunderstood. It's become so discouraging that I usually just keep these thoughts to myself. Eventually the dreams fade away or die from lack of nourishment.

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
-Langston Hughes

I have had a lot of encouragement with photography. However, it's been encouraging me in a direction I don't want to go. I really DO NOT want to be a Wedding/Portrait Photographer. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy these things sometimes. I like being able to provide these services for some of my dearest friends. It's just not what I want to spend my career doing. I enjoy all sorts of other photography, but it is difficult to make a living at these. The market is flooded with commercial, nature, and fine art photographers. Often times people think they have your best interests in mind. But even the people whom you are closest to, the people who you love the most, don't have a clue what God wants for your life. Honestly-I'm not even sure that I know what God wants for my life. It is my job to seek the answer, though. Since I am the only one who will be held accountable for what I do/don't do, I need to make sure the Plan is from God.

So, I'm in the midst of a mess in my brain. Then I found this scripture: Matthew 16:27 from the Message Bible:
"Don't be in such a hurry to go into business for yourself..."
WOW!! What an answer! I felt such relief. It was a load off my mind. See-I really don't need to start my own business to do what God wants me to do! I can still do photography on the side. Sell fine art prints online. Maybe even sell to some stock photography companies. All while still enjoying the comfort and security of my full time job. Oh, but wait! Here's the part that doesn't feel right in the plan. While I do think my job is right for right now, I know it's not my ultimate career destination. So then, what is? I've had an inkling of a dream for some time now. I tend to suppress it because it seems so far fetched to me. Lately, there have been details added to my longing.

One afternoon as I was driving home, I was listening to my iPod. I usually have it on the 'shuffle' setting so as to get a good variety of music. One of my favorite songs came on-Paul Simon, Bridge Over Troubled Water. I cranked it up. I was singing along when it came to the 'bridge.' Something hit me when I heard the words- 'Sail on Silver Girl, sail on by. Your time has come to shine. All your dreams are on their way. See how they shine."


-I usually listen to this song as if Jesus himself is singing it

My goodness! All my dreams are on their way! This made me realize that if I want my dreams to come to fruition, I must allow myself to dream. I must be willing to work and possibly even fight for them. I must do what Proverbs 3:5-6 says (look it up!). I must be patient because God does things in HIS PERFECT TIME! Which is not necessarily when I think things should be done.

So anyway, here's the beginning of my extraordinary God adventure:

I want to open an art gallery in a place where art is scarce. I want to represent artists who dedicate their life and talents to serving and glorifying the One who gave them their gifts. It would be full of a diverse selection of art-paintings, sculptures, photography, drawings, mixed media pieces, writing, music, and any other thing I might consider to be art. The gallery would also support a workshop. The workshop would consist of weekend and summer classes in the various art forms displayed at the gallery. The artists themselves would be the teachers. Classes would be for children and (this is the good part) would be completely free to them! The workshop would be financially supported by the gallery. I even know the location. It's at the corner of Dickerson Road & East Cedar in Goodlettsville. It's beside the Chamber of Commerce & across from Walgreens. The house has been up for sale for many years. It even went up for auction recently & wasn't sold. I have claimed it for my own!

I know there are a LOT of details still to be worked out. I also know the Lord will provide whatever I need to fulfill His plan for me.

One last thing. If you are going to dream, dream a big dream. Let your imagination run wild with a big, godly dream. For we serve a big God.

SMC

It's the Breathing that's taking all this WORK

Let's start with a brief background of me & my job. I've worked @ the same place for eight years now-a fact which totally astonishes me. This particular job has always brought out the worst in me. All the mean & nasty thoughts seem to come alive there. That is, before I knew Jesus. For a while, when I first was saved, I got worse. This amazing change had took place in my life, but no one seemed to notice. I was angry. Can't they see? I'm not the same girl anymore!! Fortunately enough, I was also pregnant and was forced to take a short leave of absence!! I came back refreshed, renewed, and ready to begin again. The place still brings out the worst in me. But my worst is much better now than my best ever was. And I continue to push forward in a constant pursuit of a better me. A few months ago things started changing. Different people were promoted. There have been changes to the way a lot of us do our jobs. It started feeling like old times again. I felt myself slowly sliding down. Getting worse. And worse. I felt pain, anger, and dissension build up inside me again. I began to dread going to work. What's worse is the feelings started carrying over into the rest of my life. I kept trying to have a positive attitude. It would only last for a short while, though. Something would inevitably happen to push me over the edge again. So here's where I am and have been for the last couple of months. Struggling, Fighting, Drowning.

Today God gave me an amazing opportunity. I was talking to a lady from another department. She seemed a little down. She was frustrated with the fact that some people can get/get away with anything they want. Why is it that you can work really hard, be very dedicated, and get nowhere. 'What's the point in working hard if it doesn't do you any good?' she asked me. What a question-one that I've asked myself often. God gave me the words to speak. "For me," I said, "It doesn't matter if my superiors notice. It doesn't matter if anyone notices. I have to do my best at everything. There is no other option. I would not be able to do any less even if I wanted to. Besides, just because no one here cares, doesn't mean no one is watching. God cares. He sees all that you do. Do your best anyway & don't worry about whether it is noticed here or not." She thanked me. She said that was just what she needed to hear. I felt so good.

On my way home, I was replaying the conversation in my mind. God was talking to me too! Sometimes I feel so stupid for not seeing the obvious!! I have to give my all no matter what. God is watching me(not from a distance, either!). It would be no good for me to say, 'I believe in God-Jesus-the Christian way of life,' and then not act like it. It would be counter productive to the Kingdom. It doesn't matter if I agree with my superiors. They are in authority over me & I must obey. Without complaining!! I let the smallest things get me off track and it's putting my life in danger.

We've been going through the 'Driven by Eternity' video series on Thursday nights @ Church. I must admit-I've been feeling a little insecure about my eternal destination. Now I know how to live for eternity. Moment by moment-in constant pursuit of Christ. Not looking back and not worrying about what anyone but God will think of me.

Thanks Lord, I needed this!