Silver Girl

Have you ever had trouble figuring out what you want to do with your life? It seems to be an ongoing source of frustration for me. It's not that I dislike my job, or the company I work for. I just feel like I'm missing out on what I'm supposed to be doing.

We are doing a Cell Group @ Church on John Bevere's Driven By Eternity. One of the workbook questions from Hour 1 asks you about your dreams. What do your extraordinary God-adventures look like? I could not answer this question. I listened to my friends/pastors as they answered. I was amazed and ashamed at the same time. They had really thought about this-and not because it was a question in the workbook. The senior pastor went into great detail about his vision. Wow! It was amazing. And I must say, I will enjoy watching it unfold. But hearing it left me feeling more empty than just not being able to answer the question had. I suppose, deep in my heart I could have given a misty, dreamlike answer. Not anything solid, though. Lately, my mind has been so overactive I can't be still long enough to think.

To be perfectly honest, I'm usually a bit skeptical to share my wildest dreams with others. Often times they get shot down, confused, or just completely misunderstood. It's become so discouraging that I usually just keep these thoughts to myself. Eventually the dreams fade away or die from lack of nourishment.

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
-Langston Hughes

I have had a lot of encouragement with photography. However, it's been encouraging me in a direction I don't want to go. I really DO NOT want to be a Wedding/Portrait Photographer. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy these things sometimes. I like being able to provide these services for some of my dearest friends. It's just not what I want to spend my career doing. I enjoy all sorts of other photography, but it is difficult to make a living at these. The market is flooded with commercial, nature, and fine art photographers. Often times people think they have your best interests in mind. But even the people whom you are closest to, the people who you love the most, don't have a clue what God wants for your life. Honestly-I'm not even sure that I know what God wants for my life. It is my job to seek the answer, though. Since I am the only one who will be held accountable for what I do/don't do, I need to make sure the Plan is from God.

So, I'm in the midst of a mess in my brain. Then I found this scripture: Matthew 16:27 from the Message Bible:
"Don't be in such a hurry to go into business for yourself..."
WOW!! What an answer! I felt such relief. It was a load off my mind. See-I really don't need to start my own business to do what God wants me to do! I can still do photography on the side. Sell fine art prints online. Maybe even sell to some stock photography companies. All while still enjoying the comfort and security of my full time job. Oh, but wait! Here's the part that doesn't feel right in the plan. While I do think my job is right for right now, I know it's not my ultimate career destination. So then, what is? I've had an inkling of a dream for some time now. I tend to suppress it because it seems so far fetched to me. Lately, there have been details added to my longing.

One afternoon as I was driving home, I was listening to my iPod. I usually have it on the 'shuffle' setting so as to get a good variety of music. One of my favorite songs came on-Paul Simon, Bridge Over Troubled Water. I cranked it up. I was singing along when it came to the 'bridge.' Something hit me when I heard the words- 'Sail on Silver Girl, sail on by. Your time has come to shine. All your dreams are on their way. See how they shine."


-I usually listen to this song as if Jesus himself is singing it

My goodness! All my dreams are on their way! This made me realize that if I want my dreams to come to fruition, I must allow myself to dream. I must be willing to work and possibly even fight for them. I must do what Proverbs 3:5-6 says (look it up!). I must be patient because God does things in HIS PERFECT TIME! Which is not necessarily when I think things should be done.

So anyway, here's the beginning of my extraordinary God adventure:

I want to open an art gallery in a place where art is scarce. I want to represent artists who dedicate their life and talents to serving and glorifying the One who gave them their gifts. It would be full of a diverse selection of art-paintings, sculptures, photography, drawings, mixed media pieces, writing, music, and any other thing I might consider to be art. The gallery would also support a workshop. The workshop would consist of weekend and summer classes in the various art forms displayed at the gallery. The artists themselves would be the teachers. Classes would be for children and (this is the good part) would be completely free to them! The workshop would be financially supported by the gallery. I even know the location. It's at the corner of Dickerson Road & East Cedar in Goodlettsville. It's beside the Chamber of Commerce & across from Walgreens. The house has been up for sale for many years. It even went up for auction recently & wasn't sold. I have claimed it for my own!

I know there are a LOT of details still to be worked out. I also know the Lord will provide whatever I need to fulfill His plan for me.

One last thing. If you are going to dream, dream a big dream. Let your imagination run wild with a big, godly dream. For we serve a big God.

SMC